Better Late Than Never

Author’s Note- The following blog jumps around quite a bit. My apologies; next time I won’t be so hurried and I’ll work on clarity. Things should be slowing down for me.

9/18

Well, they certainly didn’t get my sleep number right here. After attempting to chip away at a modest night’s sleep in what felt like half hour increments, I finally gave up. I rolled over and dug my jail-issue Walkman (that’s a small radio and headset for you younger friends) out of the mattress to reveal a time of 5:45. As I stared out the window trying to detect the first hint of daylight, I could only find the faintest shade of blue fused with the deep black of night. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to mix myself a cup of freeze dried coffee and watch the sunrise on what was shaping up to be a gorgeous Sunday morning.

Slowly the dark treeline became distinguishable from the orange hue that daybreak had slowly begun I deliver to the sky, until eventually the horizon was met with an acute, discernible contrast that only dusk or dawn can briefly yield. As daylight began to invade the outside world at an almost exponential rate, the unmistakable glass sheen of water started to radiate through the trees, indicating the presence of an otherwise hidden lake in the distant, imperceptible background. I had not noticed this until now and was forced to conclude that autumn had commanded its annual vegetation drop.

As I am digesting all of this, my mind begins to drift. I start visualizing the change of seasons from within the facility. I start predicting the weather for my projected out date of May 1, which most certainly a crap shoot in MN. I catch myself and refocus my attention back out the window; the landscape now nearly unrecognizable from the additional daylight that crept in while I was daydreaming. 

Fast forward one week. Both sickness and a lack of motivation sapped what little shred of creativity I had left. Please allow me to brief you. On Sunday I couldn’t focus enough to write anything of value. On Monday and Tuesday I was a bit wiped from work. Wednesday I got terribly sick during day but was luckily able to sleep it off that evening. Thursday I had recreation (time spent socializing with other inmates) and Friday I had my personal time, which I spent with my folks doing laundry and then eventually getting a haircut. Saturday I was just plain lazy.

So what’s new with me? Quite honestly, not much. The foreground just before the road outside my window is being excavated for what is rumored to be a parking lot. A few trees and a generous amount of lawn are strewn about and will likely be disposed of in the near future. I am indifferent to all of this construction, mainly because the dense forest on the other side of the road will presumably be unmolested.

Today marks a bit of a milestone. After some quick calculation I’ve determined that after tonight, 10% of my sentence will have been completed (update: it’s now about 17%). The days are actually peeling off somewhat quickly, so much so I’m actually starting to worry that I’m becoming institutionalized. Maybe I’ve seen The Shawshank Redemption one too many times but I have this irrational fear that I won’t know how to enjoy myself in the same manner that I was able to do so before I was stripped of my freedom. On a positive note, I’ve adjusted to not having my phone on me 24 hours a day. I also have no real desire to watch tv, something that consumed way too much of my time before I went in. As of now, my time is being consumed by the thought of trying new endeavors when I get out. 

I’m all out of time, yet again. Stay busy for me my friends and I’ll get started on something soon. Suggestions are appreciated!
Cheers

Jeremy